After four weeks, I think that I've compiled a basic (to be expanded at a later date) list of what teachers need to know and be able to do to be successful. List follows.
1. Pretend you know exactly what you are doing at all times.
2. When you need extra time to figure something out, say you're waiting for a respectful audience.
3. Pack delicious snacks to get you through the morning.
4. Pack delicious lunches to get you through the afternoon.
5. Become best friends with people that will be able to help you in the future (librarians, secretaries.)
6. Know how to give the heartbreaking "I am disappointed with you" look to your class.
7. Always have an extra $.75 on you for that emergency bag of Cheetos or Hershey bar.
8. Make one of your classroom rules "Keep your teachers happy."
9. Realize that you will never accomplish everything you plan to accomplish on any given day.
10. When you make a mistake (like a misspelling on the board, or say the name of the wrong country) just tell the class you were only checking to see if they were paying attention. (thank you Cheryl!)
10. Check the faculty lounge often for the occasional baked goods left in there for the taking.
11. When in dire straits, just send your class to the computer lab and give them a good challenging math game. Oh, and instead of helping them, just say it's an activity that teaches them perseverance and independence. Chances are, they won't know what that means, and will keep working without help from you.
... I'm only half kidding. Or maybe only one-fourth kidding.